"Da" (Yes)

Yesterday afternoon something wonderful that deserves a special posting happened. When we went into the play room we took our usual positions: Nico and I at the carpet and Fernando and Santiago playing all over the room. But a little while after Nico yelled "Papa!" for the first time and pointed at Fernando, as if he was saying "It is my turn". He was right, it was time for him to discover the world. Fernando took him in his arms, opened the curtain a little bit and stood him at the window sil facing the street. Like this, both of them standing up looking out of the window, I heard Fernando say to him: "Look son, I introduce you to the world. It is not a perfect place but you can help to make it better. Now the world is yours and you can do anything you set your heart to." Nicolas looked at him and laughed excitedly as if he could understand his words. Suddenly, he started to touch the glass, softly at first, as if he was just discovering this strange material which allowed him to see the outside but would not let him go through. Fernando taught him to knock on the window and Nico started to knock, first softly and then very strongly as if he was saying: "I want to get out, I want to see what is beyond these 4 walls". Then both of them started knocking (actually banging) on the window together while they laughed out loud. Nico had not only discovered the world but he had finally also discovered his "Papa".

Meanwhile, at the other side of the room, something equally amazing and remarkable took place. When I gave Nico to Fernando, I stretched out my arms to Santiago and he came running to me. I held him strongly, I sat him on my lap and started cuddling him while I rocked him gently. Suddenly, he abandoned himself in my arms. The restless, playful child who usually only wanted to walk around the room taking a new toy out of the bag every two minutes wasdiscovering something new. He looked at me with an angel face and simply let me rock him, he didn't even move. We stayed like that for a long time, contemplating each other, he was discovering what having a Mama was all about and I was tasting a little bit of what our lives together would be like. I had to hold back my tears of joy. While I gently rocked him, I whispered to his ear "ya tuoi Mama", "ti mei sin" (I am your mama, you are my son) and then I would point at myself and say "Mama" and point at him and say "lala"(baby). I don't know if any other Ukrainian would have understood my less-than-perfect Russian, but my son sure did understand me. Because to everything I said, he would look at me with sweet and deep eyes, and in the cutest little voice that you could ever imagine, he simply answered "Da".